Hi, and welcome to issue #75 of The Power Up.

I’m trying something different in this edition.

I recently listened to an exceptional episode of Steven Bartlett’s The Diary of a CEO podcast in which he interviewed Simon Sinek (author of Start with Why and The Infinite Game).

Sinek dived into his research on the loneliness epidemic and questioned why we get very little education or guidance on how to be good friends.

We assume that since making friends is something any toddler can do, it’s not something we need to learn or work on - like coding or French.

Yet how many of us are actually satisfied with the quality of our friendships? How many of us wish we had more? Or perhaps feel that the friendships we do have haven’t evolved over time as we’ve grown as people?

The whole podcast episode is worth a listen. But it also set me on a journey of digging deeper, and I want to share the best of what I’ve found with you in this edition.

So, let’s dive in. 

And please, as ever, let me know your feedback on the format and content.

Why friendships are not optional: And 4 myths about adult friendships

Friendships are not a luxury. They are as important to our well-being as water and oxygen.

The statistics on the health risks associated with a lack of friendships are shocking. People with no friends or poor-quality friendships are twice as likely to die prematurely, according to Holt-Lunstad’s meta-analysis of more than 308,000 people—a risk factor even greater than the effects of smoking 20 cigarettes per day.

Read more…

Could the spread of self help therapy-style advice actually be damaging friendships?

‘Life’s too short for toxic friends’. ‘Let go of relationships that aren’t serving you’. ‘Prioritise self-care over time vampires.’

We’ve all seen advice like this in our modern culture where optimising the personal outcomes of every minute and every interaction has become the primary narrative of our time - co-opted and twisted from psychology.   

But what if we could actually benefit more from deeply engaging with the more challenging aspects of interpersonal relationships? Might that actually help us feel more fulfilled, whilst also developing interpersonal skills that stand us in good stead for other areas of life?

Read more…

How to make friends as an adult

Creating fulfilling, lasting friendships as an adult can be hard.

As we age, our lives get more complex and filled with responsibilities, making it harder to find the time and energy to forge new connections.

We also get set in our ways, making it difficult to let down our guard and open ourselves up to new people and experiences.

And there’s the emotional side that, as adults, we tend to forget, repress, or ignore, because we think we shouldn’t have these kinds of “emotional problems” anymore.

Mark Manson investigates why it can be so hard to make friends as an adult, and outlines four counterintuitive principles for approaching the dilemma.

Read more…

Video: How to be a good friend

We all know how lovely friendship can be, but we seldom focus on what a good friend should actually be like. As a result, we miss out on opportunities to become precisely that kind of friend - one that can enrich the social lives of all those we meet. 

This video from The School of Life is a short masterclass in the art of friendship.

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Have we put Individualism ahead of the common good for too long?

As he toured America in the early 1800s, French philosopher and sociologist Alexis de Tocqueville observed the new world’s fascination with individualism and entrepreneurship with a combination of wonder and worry.

He recognised that America’s future greatness and power likely lay in its citizens’ obsession with individual advancement. But he also questioned whether a society could hold together when existence becomes atomised and individual success crowds out the common good.

America, he worried, would descend into a morass of avarice, self-interest and envy without a means through which Americans could prioritise virtue, character, and common good over personal interest and individual achievement.

Might he have been on to something?

Read more…

The Power Up Recommends…

If you like The Power Up, I’m sure you’ll love my other newsletter, Innovation in Sport, in which I bring you the latest stories shaping the sports we’ll be watching, competing in and engaging with in the future.

How remote work can impact employees' mental health

Many of us love the benefits of remote work: No commute, fewer interruptions, more focus, cheaper lunch etc. But are we paying a psychological price for these benefits?

This article explores the psychological benefits and challenges of remote work and gives guidance on how we can make an informed decision about whether it's right for us and our organisations.

Read more…

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See you next time,

Adam